


Five Times Satsu Didn’t Have Smoochies With the Scoobies (And One Time That She Did)

by Barnabas



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: 5 Things, Drama, F/F, Femslash, Season/Series 08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-07
Updated: 2010-05-12
Packaged: 2017-10-09 08:46:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Barnabas/pseuds/Barnabas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Several snapshots of Satsu's life before, during, and after S8.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Xander

**Author's Note:**

> My first attempt at the ever-popular "5 Things" genre. 2 limits I set for myself, just as a personal challenge, were that each chapter consist of only a single scene, and be no longer than 1,000 words.

Satsu's head was still spinning like crazy. Vampire slayer. Castle. Scotland. Monsters.

And worst of all: no private room. She was an only child, and had had her own room all her life. Now she was sharing one with four other girls who she'd only just met, and somehow she was even more scared by that than the idea of fighting vampires. Part of her wanted to just call this whole thing off and go home.

Damn her stupid shyness! Why couldn't she be normal and confident, like everyone else? Other kids her age looked forward to going to college and living in a dorm; Satsu had spent her entire senior year of high school nearly giving herself an ulcer in her nervousness about it.

She was still unpacking her things when her slightly-trembling hands caused her to drop her holder full of DVDs. They went spilling out across the floor in a long line, and everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look.

"Graceful," one of the other girls said. It was Leah, the one with the wild mass of gorgeous red hair, and funny accent that Satsu couldn't quite place. "Yer sure you're a slayer, right?"

"No, but I'll take their word for it," she nearly mumbled, and bent to begin retrieving the discs. They'd spilled out toward the bed of an American slayer named Melissa, and she helped out by picking up the ones nearest to her.

"Here," she said, and held them out to Satsu--but then refused to relinquish her hold on them when she got a good look at the one on top. "Hey, I've heard of that one. That's a lesbian movie, isn't it?" Her tone of voice made it clear that she didn't consider that a particularly good thing.

"What? No," Satsu lied, and tried--unsuccessfully--to pull it away from her.

"It is! Wait a sec--are… are you a dyke?!"

"No!" This was stupid. She'd been out for three years, and had made her peace with who she was, and was proud of it, even… most of the time. But she was also scared to be living here in this strange place, with these strange girls, and she wanted them to like her or else this whole thing would be _so much_ harder.

"Hey. Back off," Rowena told Melissa, stepping up to Satsu's side.

"'Back off'? We're all sharing the shower-room together, and I have to get changed in here every day!" Melissa fired back. "How am I supposed to do that if she's going to be standing there, drooling over me the whole time?"

"I'm not gay!" Satsu practically shouted, hating herself even as she said it. She felt like she was fourteen again, trying to deny who she was--to everyone around her, and even to herself.

"Oh, yeah? Prove it," Melissa challenged.

_How the hell am I supposed to do that?_ Satsu wondered.

"Knock, knock," Xander called from the door, and since it was already open, he stepped inside. "Hey, girls, Buffy wants you all out in the courtyard for hand-to-hand training in--"

Satsu marched right up to him, grabbed hold of both sides of his head, and kissed him full on the lips. He struggled to get away, but not especially hard. After nearly ten seconds of smooching, she turned him loose and spun to face Melissa, with a triumphant 'Take that!' look on her face.

"--fifteen minutes," Xander finished, now sounding a little dazed. "Okay… I'm just going to go… somewhere else now. Because…" He turned to leave, bumped into the doorway, and half-stumbled out into the hall and disappeared.

Everyone in the room was now staring at Melissa. Some of the fire went out of her eyes, and she mumbled something, turned back toward her bed, and began re-arranging her own belongings, trying her best to look occupied and ignore the rest of them.

One of the other girls (Renee, Satsu remembered, her name was Renee) had finished gathering up the rest of the spilled DVDs, and handed them to her with a friendly smile. "Here you go. Hope none of them got scratched."

Satsu accepted them, and returned the smile, though she was mostly still embarrassed, and furious with herself for what she'd just done. It had been a horrible thing to do to Xander, and a horrible thing to do to herself, as well. "Me, too. Thanks."

"And just so you know," Renee added, leaning in close and speaking in a whisper, "you can be gay if you want to. I don't think any of the rest of us really care."

"In that case, I'll seriously consider it," Satsu said, and her smile turned into a small grin. "Thank you."

Maybe things would be okay here, after all.


	2. Kennedy

They were drawing quite an audience, but Satsu actually didn't mind all that much. Just the opposite, in fact--she grabbed Kennedy and pulled her even tighter against her, grinding their hips together in rhythm with the pulsing beat of the music. More and more heads throughout the club turned in their direction.

There had been a time--not all that long ago, either--when having so many people staring at her would've sent her running for the nearest exit, almost hyperventilating. But she'd changed. She'd discovered a strength inside herself, and with it, self-confidence. She could lead a team of badass female killing machines into battle, and go toe-to-toe with the evilest monsters around, and she could do it while being herself, without having to conform to anyone's expectations of what she 'should' be.

And she could also go out at night and dance all sexy with whoever the hell she wanted, and enjoy the attention she got for it.

All because of Buffy.

Buffy had given her her power, and taught her how to use it. Buffy had been a role model, showing her that it was possible to be strong, stay feminine, and remain true to yourself. And Buffy had loved her--physically, at least, if not emotionally.

And then Buffy had let her down easy.

Okay, so it wasn't as if she hadn't been expecting it. But then to see her again earlier that afternoon on the videoconference, and have her treat her as if she were nothing more than Lieutenant Satsu, Head of the Tokyo Squad… That had stung. And it was the main reason she and Kennedy were here now, still dancing, as full of energy as the clock approached one a.m. as they had been when the night had been brand-new.

It had been a whirlwind afternoon leading up to it, though. It seemed like they'd hit every shop in downtown Tokyo, and had put a couple of majorly-impressive dents in their respective Slayer Organization expense accounts. Almost everything they'd bought had been ordered to be delivered back to the slayer-compound outside the city, but as the sun had begun going down they'd put on their newest borderline-slutty outfits and begun making the rounds at the clubs. Satsu had already had a couple more beers than she was used to, but she was still feeling fine, thank you very much, and Kennedy had been polite enough not to let her drink alone.

"I think you've got a fan club," the other slayer said into her ear at one point, speaking loudly enough to be heard over the music.

"Yeah--everyone in here!" Satsu answered with a grin.

"No, I mean I think _you've_ got a fan club. Of one."

Without missing a beat in her dancing, Satsu followed Kennedy's eyes and saw who she was talking about. Sitting alone at a table near the edge of the dance floor was a blonde woman, watching her and smiling in a semi-inviting way. And Satsu understood what Kennedy meant: the woman wasn't watching _them_. She was watching _her_. Satsu.

"So? Go talk to her," Kennedy urged. "Do the moving-on thing. A good long night of hot, sweaty, meaningless sex is just what you need right now. Rinse all that leftover 'Buffy' stuff out of your system so you can be all sparkly-clean and ready when the next chance for a real relationship comes along."

It was funny--Satsu hadn't even thought about Buffy in, oh, at least an hour. But as soon as Kennedy mentioned her name, Satsu saw the similarities between her and the blonde woman over at the table. The blonde hair, the green eyes, the quirky little nose… And even though the similarities ended there, and the resemblance wasn't really all that strong, for just a moment (probably helped along by the alcohol) Satsu was convinced that the woman was Buffy.

_She's just gonna blow me off like that, huh? Well, I'll show her. If she's gonna move on, I'll let her see just how good_ I _am at moving on, too._

Their bodies were already pressed pretty tightly together, but now Satsu grabbed Kennedy by the hair and crushed her lips against hers, reaching up with her other hand to grope her through her clothes.

"Whoa! What the hell!" Kennedy demanded after breaking free. She stepped back and wiped the back of her wrist across her mouth.

"Oh, no…" Satsu murmured, realizing what she'd just done. "Oh, Kennedy, I didn't mean--"

"Okay, I'm with Willow," the other woman informed her. "I'm very happy with her. Just 'cause I'm the 'other lesbian slayer' and I go out dancing with you for a couple of hours, that doesn't mean I wanna tear your clothes off and screw your brains out, you know."

"I know that--!"

"I was trying to do you a favor!" Kennedy practically screamed at her. "Give you a fun night out, help you take your mind off things for a little while."

"I know, and I'm sorry. It was stupid. I don't know what I was--"

"I think we should go home," she said, turning from hurt-and-angry to calm-and-cold. "I have an early flight tomorrow, and Willow's meeting me at the airport in Glasgow."

As they left the club, Satsu felt on the verge of crying. She'd made a friend. A friend who understood her and everything she was going through maybe better than anyone else on earth, and who would have been willing to be there for her anytime she'd needed to talk about anything. And she'd screwed it up.

She'd changed in so many ways since becoming a slayer, but unfortunately, not in a couple of the biggies: she was still an idiot, and her life still sucked.


	3. Andrew

Satsu made her way through the narrow passages of the submarine, heading for her bunk--or trying to. Things were so cramped that anytime she met someone in one of the corridors, she had to plant her back up flat against the wall just to give them space to get by. Before it had been commandeered by vampires, and then retrieved by her and her team of slayers, sailors in the South Korean navy had lived in here for months at a time. She couldn't even imagine that.

Right now she mostly just wanted to get the hell out of it. Whoever was driving this thing should just step on the gas, and hurry up and get them to wherever it was that Buffy was taking them all. Because Satsu needed to get away from her. As soon as possible.

She felt like a complete fool. When Buffy had recalled her and her squad, and told them to meet up with her and the others in a secret location, Satsu had cautioned herself not to get her hopes up. It didn't mean anything for the two of them--it was just Buffy being the Slayer-General, moving her various pieces around for strategic reasons. But Satsu's hopes had ignored her warnings and gone up all on their own, and then to have Buffy flat-out _ignore_ her like that once she'd shown up… Every time she thought this whole thing couldn't get more painful, she was proven wrong.

Maybe she should just--

A pair of hands darted out, grabbed hold of her, and pulled her into a small, darkened compartment. Satsu was too surprised to even fight back, which made her glad Buffy hadn't been there to see it. _That_ would've gotten her to pay attention to the younger slayer again--just long enough to chew her ass out for her horrible lack of reactions.

Moist lips touched hers. She couldn't see who's they were, but they were soft, like a girl's, which could only mean one thing.

_Buffy!_ Satsu exalted. _She wants to try again! Maybe we're not doomed, after all!_

With her heart swelling, she reached her hands up to rest on Buffy's shoulders, allowed her lips to part, and slipped her tongue out, looking for entrance into the older slayer's mouth--and heard a startled little, "Eep!", and the room's overhead light suddenly snapped on.

Her mysterious kisser was Andrew.

"What?!" All her so-brief hopes for a wonderful future together with Buffy came crashing down upon her. "What the _hell_ are you doing?" she demanded, and pushed herself away from him.

He didn't answer. Just held up a finger in the universal, 'Wait one second,' gesture, and reached the other hand into his mouth. After a little digging around, he pulled out something that had been tucked between his teeth and cheek, on the upper righthand side. It was some sort of thin, wafer-ish device that looked vaguely technological, vaguely magickal. He examined it closely for a moment, then glanced at her, then back at the device, then back at her. "Okay, you're clear," he announced.

"What? What was--?"

"Oh. Right. Sorry." Now he seemed embarrassed. "I wasn't trying to lead you on with that kiss or anything, honest. I definitely wasn't expecting you to kiss me back. I mean, I didn't even know you felt that way about me. Otherwise I would have found a different way to check you out--one that didn't get your hopes all up and everything. I thought you only liked girls."

"I wasn't--"

"I mean, I think you're super-sweet, and really cute, and you have an Ami Mizuno t-shirt which I'm totally jealous of but would never ever borrow without asking, I swear, I don't know how that stain got on it--"

"What--?!"

"It would just never work between us," he said, and put a comforting hand on her arm. "I'm too engrossed in my important duties right now to have time for a relationship. But hey, maybe you should consider Xander. He's strong, and brave, and handsome…" His voice had quickly become wistful, and he seemed to realize this and hurriedly banished that tone in favor of a more businesslike one. "And, um, yeah. Plus, he's all alone now, too, just like you, after his latest girlfriend died. Wow, that's two in a row for him now, isn't it? So no, on second thought, maybe you shouldn't go out with him--not while he's on a streak like this. But I'm sure the right guy for you is out there somewhere."

"But I--"

"Hush," he said, and now placed a finger over her lips. "I've broken your heart, and that's something I'll have to carry from now 'til my dying day. Just know that I'm eternally sorry. But you're a noble slayer, and I'm an only-partially-redeemed former supervillain, and you deserve far better than I. Farewell, sweet Satsu." He slipped out of the room and into the passageway outside, leaving a stunned young woman in his wake.

"Oh, and don't tell anyone I'm doing this," he said, popping back into view and holding up the strange little device. "It'll screw up the results if they're expecting it." Then he was gone.

"That didn't just happen," Satsu whispered to herself. She resumed her walk to her bunk, half-hoping that another pair of hands (attached to a beautiful blonde slayer this time) would appear out of nowhere and drag her into the dark for some serious making out, but of course, she wasn't that lucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I know some people will be all, "Ooh, what was Andrew doing?": I don't even know myself, actually--he didn't bother to tell me. ;) Remember that this is not long before he went to Giles and told him that they had a spy in their midst, so I'd guess maybe it's related to that somehow. Beyond that, I really don't wanna dig too deep into the inner-workings of Andrew's brain.


	4. Dawn

There had been a village here on the Tibetan steppe once, but it had been abandoned long ago. A few of the buildings and huts had fallen apart completely, and those that still stood didn't look as if they would be for much longer.

Satsu had discovered it by accident. She'd just needed to get away from the monastery for awhile. To get away from Buffy. So she'd gone for a walk, and before long the ruins of the old community had appeared on the horizon.

She'd been wrong about one thing, though: it wasn't deserted. Not completely. As she wandered through it, a head popped up from the other side of an old rock wall, said, "Oh, it's you," and disappeared behind it once again.

Heaving a tired sigh, Satsu headed in that direction. She'd wanted to be alone, but sometimes she got the feeling that this other girl was even more lonely, and more of an outsider than she was. "What are you doing here?"

"What's it look like?" Dawn asked, and took another long pull from the joint in her hand. "Getting 'Ural Mountain High.'"

"I don't think we're actually in the Urals," Satsu told her, and took a seat on the wall above and beside her.

"Well, thanks, Geography Girl, but who cares? Doesn't make me any less high," she said, and giggled. "Want some?"

"Yeah, okay," the slayer decided, and took the offered cig. "Leah give you this?" she croaked out after taking a hit, and handed it back to the other girl.

"Uh-huh. Would you believe I've only gotten drunk one time in my whole stupid life? Pretty pathetic, huh?"

"Not necessarily. Nothing wrong with being responsible."

"I'm not responsible--I'm boring and sad. I also have, like, the worst luck ever. Everyone I love dies or goes away. The first guy I slept with, it turned me into frickin' GigantiDawnicus. And now this is my first time smoking pot, so if my luck holds I expect it to kill off every single one of my brain cells within the next ten minutes. So whatever you came looking to tell me, hurry up while I can still understand it."

"No, I was just out for a walk. I needed to get out of there for awhile. Sick of being the embarrassing ex." Buffy barely even acknowledged her anymore. Satsu had become an albatross for her--walking, talking evidence of a brief-but-horrible mistake.

"Yeah, well, my sister's a bitch. I would've warned you, but I wasn't exactly expecting her to go and sleep with you." Only a small stub of the joint was left in her hands, and Satsu took it again when it was offered to her. She finished it, crushed out its remains in a patch of dirt, and dropped down to sit beside Dawn.

"I wasn't, either." She shifted her position slightly. "So--that's why _I'm_ out here. What's your excuse?"

"That we're all about to die, so I figured what does it matter if I get a little baked first?"

"What makes you think we're gonna die?"

"'Cause you never beat the bad guy by running away. That tool in the goofy mask is still out there looking for us, and sooner or later he'll find us, and when he does Buffy's conned all of you into giving up your powers, and how are we supposed to fight him then? Throw rocks at him?"

"I never thought of you as the type to give up so easy."

"You never thought of me at all," Dawn retorted.

"True." For almost the whole time Satsu had known her, Dawn had been huge. And… well, kinda smelly. She'd never really looked beyond those things. But now here they were, sitting together, the same size, sharing a matching pissed-ness at Buffy and maybe both looking for a way to get back at her somehow, even just a little bit. And as Satsu looked at Dawn, and really _saw_ her for the first time, she noticed just how incredibly beautiful she was. And now she smelled good, too. Like honeysuckle on a cool Tibetan evening. "Maybe I should have."

She took a cautious peek sideways, and saw that the other girl was staring at her. "Well, I can't really blame you for not," Dawn admitted. "Big difference between being 'hugely-desirable' and just 'huge.' But I would've treated you _way_ better than she did."

"I hope so." Now she was staring back at Dawn… and she realized that their lips had begun drifting closer together. This maybe wasn't a great idea, need for spiteful vengeance or no. But as soon as those lips met, the concept of great ideas and terrible ideas went away, and she just allowed herself to _feel_.

"Wow. Soft," Dawn whispered when it was over, touching a pair of fingers to her lips as though trying to find some tangible trace of what had just happened. "But we probably shouldn't have done that," she decided--then immediately made a liar out of herself by grabbing hold of Satsu and repeating the act, this time probing cautiously, experimentally, with her tongue.

Satsu resisted for a moment longer as a small scrap of sanity screamed against doing this with the sister of the woman she (still) loved, but as she felt Dawn's tongue enter her mouth and brush against her own, she turned on sanity's mute button and gave in to the other girl completely. In seconds they were rolling around on the grass, kissing and groping at one another.

"Wait," Dawn said, and Satsu froze. "If I have sex with you, I'm not going to turn into a mermaid or a troll or something, am I?"

"Probably not."

"Cool." She began pulling at the Japanese girl's clothes again.

Suddenly, a deep, loud 'BOOM!' came echoing across the plateau, from the direction of the monastery.

"What the #%&amp;@ was that?"

"Told you he'd find us," Dawn sighed. "And you with no slayer powers. So? Hurry up--grab some rocks."


	5. Willow

Satsu answered the knock at her front door, and was confronted with a face out of what felt like a whole other life.

There was an awkward silence as the two of them just stared at one another, across the gulf of years that had separated them. "Hey," Willow finally said.

"Hey." After another awkward moment, Satsu remembered her manners and moved aside to un-block the doorway. "Come in. Please."

"Thanks." Willow stepped inside, and gave the small apartment an admiring once-over as she was led toward the living room. "Nice place."

"Thanks. It's comfortable enough, I guess. I don't need a lot of space."

Willow took the offered seat on the sofa, and her host sat down across from her. "I actually rode on a cable-car to get here," she said with a grin. "I've always wanted to do that."

Satsu smiled back. "Cool, but you know you can't call yourself an official San Francisco tourist until you've walked across the Golden Gate Bridge, right?"

"Oh. Well, that sounds fun, but I probably won't have time. I'm only in town for today. What about you? How'd you end up here?"

"This is home," Satsu said simply, and only then did it dawn on her how little Willow knew about her--and vice-versa. Or how little she and Buffy had known about each other's pasts. "My parents are from Nagoya, but I grew up right here. My dad was transferred back to Tokyo when I was thirteen, but I think I'll always feel more comfortable here than there."

Willow nodded, but didn't reply. Satsu wondered why she was here and what she wanted, but there was no way to blurt that out without sounding rude. "How's Kennedy?"

"Oh, fine. She's back at the hotel with the kids." But the mention of her caused Willow to glance around the apartment again, and Satsu knew that she was too polite to come right out and ask if Satsu had anyone, and was looking for any photos scattered around that might give her a clue. But she wouldn't find any. There hadn't been anyone since Buffy.

They spent a few minutes talking about old times, old friends, battles won, and battles lost. For awhile they both carefully avoided talking about that one final battle, or that one particular old friend, but eventually they reached a point where they couldn't ignore it any longer.

"You know that it was five years ago tomorrow, right?" Willow reminded.

Satsu hadn't realized that. She'd done her best to put that part of her life completely out of her mind, in fact, but now here was part of it back again, sitting there on her sofa. Satsu felt the old wounds on her heart threatening to break open again, and for one brief moment she hated Willow for bringing all those memories back to her. "No, but I guess that sounds about right."

"That's why we're in town, actually," Willow said, beginning to speak a little faster, and obviously nervous about this part. "Dawn lives in Vallejo now, so we're just picking her up, and we're all going to fly down to LA together. You know… to visit the grave. We thought… you might wanna come, too."

Satsu couldn't help but be touched by the thought, misplaced though it was. "Thanks, but I shouldn't. It's not like I'm a member of the family or anything. I'm not even an ex-girlfriend." She hoped she'd kept any trace of bitterness out of her voice.

"You never got over her, did you?"

Okay, apparently not--bitterness broadcast, loud and clear.

"I'm an idiot," she admitted, and slumped in her seat. "Yeah, sure, I knew right from the beginning that it couldn't go anywhere. Her being not-gay was only one reason why not. But a stupid little part of me still hoped.

"But that's not what really hurt," she explained. "It was the way things went after we were done. We parted on good terms, and I thought we were going to stay friends. _Really_ friends, not the fake, 'I hope we can still be friends,' you always feed your latest ex. But then she just totally shut me out. It was… hard to deal with."

"But that didn't have anything to do with you!" Willow told her. "That was just the way she was. Things were starting to get bad, with Harmony, and Simone, and Twilight, and when things got bad Buffy pulled away. From everyone. Every time. But then the crisis would pass and she'd open up again. God, I'm _so_ sorry--I can't believe I didn't explain that to you at the time. I should've realized how much you were hurt by it. But she really did care about you a lot. I know she did."

"Yeah, well… thanks."

Willow tried again to talk her into coming along with them, but again she politely declined. Willow was disappointed, but respected the decision, and got up to go.

"Hey, you're Jewish, right?" Satsu asked as she walked her back to the door.

"Yeah. Why?"

"When you visit someone's grave, don't you leave some rocks on the headstone to show you've been there?"

"Uh-huh. Did you want me to leave a couple for you?"

"No. I was hoping you might give her something else." Satsu was blushing now, and she couldn't meet Willow's gaze, but she wanted to do this.

"Of course. What?"

Before she could lose her nerve, Satsu leaned in and gave Willow a quick kiss on the lips. When she saw the redhead's eyes start to widen, she hurriedly added, "Make sure you tell her it was from me."

"I will," Willow promised, still sounding a bit kerfuzzled. Satsu knew she'd feel a little funny bending down to kiss a headstone, but she'd do it. Because she knew it was important to Satsu. "Okay, so… goodbye, then."

"Goodbye." Satsu watched her walk down the hallway and turn the corner, and that was the last she ever saw of her. Or any of them.


	6. Buffy

_Satsu's eyelids fluttered open, and as she remembered everything that had happened the previous night, she was both happy and sad. Happy, because she was waking up next to the woman she loved, and sad, because that woman would be leaving very soon. But she could hardly complain--she'd gotten more than she'd ever expected to, and it had been beyond wonderful._

_Buffy stirred, and now her eyes opened, too. "Mmm. Morning," she greeted, and gave her lover a slightly-sleepy smile._

_"Morning." Satsu used her elbow to prop her head up. "Wow, I had the weirdest dreams."_

_"Really? About what?" And she clearly wasn't just asking to be polite--or because she worried they might portend some looming apocalypse. She was asking because she really cared, which made Satsu fall in love with her just a little bit more._

_"I don't remember, exactly. Xander was there… and Kennedy… Andrew… Dawn… Willow… and I think I was mad at you. And then at the end, I just kind of felt sad."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Don't apologize--they were just a bunch of stupid dreams."_

_"No, that's not--" Buffy began, then stopped and took a moment to think about what she wanted to say. "I should've never gotten into this with you. I know I've made things so much harder for you now, and that's the last thing I wanted to do. It was selfish of me."_

_"I'm a big girl, Buffy. I knew what I was doing. I knew the situation. Yeah, sure, of course I wish it could've been even more, but that doesn't mean I regret any of what it_ has _been."_

_The blonde slayer smiled, and reached for Satsu's hand. "Last night was nice."_

_"It really was." But then she thought back to the stuff that had happened earlier in the evening, and her good mood slipped a bit. "Do you think Xander is going to be okay? He and Renee were getting pretty close."_

_Buffy's smile faded. "I think so. This is something we've been through before. We're all used to losing people we care about, unfortunately, and we know how to take care of each other when it happens. Willow and Dawn and I will be there for him. _

_"Which reminds me, I'd better go wake everybody up, otherwise most of them will sleep all morning. We've gotta get to the airport."_

_They both got out of bed and began collecting their clothes. Satsu expected Buffy to dash out the door the minute she was dressed, but she didn't. She lingered for a moment, as if unwilling to put this chapter behind her, once and for all._

_"I'll call you as soon as we land, to let you know we got there okay," she promised._

_"Okay. Good."_

_"And I want you to call me if you ever need anything, okay? Just because we're half-a-world away doesn't mean we're out of each other's lives."_

_"Okay," Satsu nodded. "And if you ever need_ me _for anything, I'm here._ Anything_," she repeated, giving the other woman a meaningful look._

_"Satsu, I--"_

_"So? What are you waiting for? Don't you have people to kick out of bed, and a plane to catch?"_

_"Yeah. So… I'll just go do that, then." She turned and put her hand on the doorknob… paused for a moment for one final look back… and then vanished out the door, closing it behind her._

_A whole lot of Satsu's heart went with her, and she felt tears welling up inside, but she refused to allow them to fall. She was a leader now--she had to set an example. And this had been her idea. Buffy wasn't leaving_ her--she _was leaving Buffy. Any kind of anger she felt towards the other woman was all kinds of misplaced, and she cut those emotions off before they could even begin to form. _

_But although she still didn't remember any of the previous night's dreams, she was now left with a vague sense of disquiet that maybe that was what her future now held._

_So. First day as the new boss. She needed to figure out what to wear, and see what kind of group she'd been given to work with. She wanted them to be the best of the ten slayer teams before the end of the year. The first step was--_

_She'd gone over to the dresser, but a sudden noise behind her caused her to turn around… just in time to see Buffy come bursting through her door. She ran to Satsu and practically knocked her over as she wrapped her arms around her, and held on tight. "No, we're not doing that," she said into the Japanese slayer's ear._

_"Not doing what?" Something wet hit Satsu's shoulder, and she realized that Buffy was crying._

_"Your promotion? Totally rescinded. You're coming back to Scotland with me."_

_"Buffy--"_

_"Look, I don't know what this is," she said, pulling back to look Satsu in the eye, and gesturing between the two of them, "but whatever it is, I'm not ready to give up on it yet. I can't promise you that it'll last, or that this 'gay' thing will take. But what I_ do _know is that when I walked out that door a minute ago, everything inside me started screaming at me that I was making a horrible mistake. I don't wanna let you go until I know for sure that it was the right decision, and right now it feels like the exact opposite of that."_

_Satsu tried to make noises--or better yet, whole words--come out of her mouth, but nothing would. She just stood there, trying to convince herself she was hearing all this._

_Buffy took both of her hands, looked deep into her eyes, and just asked, "Come home with me?" She gave the hands a soft squeeze. "Please?"_

_Satsu's voice_ still _wouldn't work, but that didn't matter. She stepped into Buffy and kissed her, long and deep, and that was all the answer either of them needed._

 

**** Grr! Arrgh! ****


End file.
